I don't know how about You, but somehow if I mix these two together it can get kind of lonely. Or is it just the Holiday season bringing everyone down? :D
Question of the century - How did we end up right here?
Be so kind, let go of me, you can even disappear.
Feels like only yesterday we were kids free from care.
Obligations of today are way too much for me to bear.
We were frivolous and naive letting things just be.
Am I the one who has to continue the family tree?
I dream to be that kid again
Who’s curious about the rain.
And helps without anything to gain.
The one who’s allowed to be insane.
The kid again, in the rain, a bit insane.
Start questioning my sanity – wouldn't it be a tragedy?
It’s not like we can come up with a new form of flattery.
Lets put on a brand new face each day from now on,
Hopefully we can save our childhood from being gone.
When did we start to take our freedom for granted?
To be my own person was all I ever really wanted.
I dream to be that kid again
Who’s curious about the rain.
And helps without anything to gain.
The one who’s allowed to be insane.
The kid again, in the rain, a bit insane.
Question of the century – Where do we go from here?
I’m trapped in my memory, just had to make that clear.
Do You ever wonder about mysterious ways of this world? I do.
Today I was reminded about one of my favorite places in the world when I was a kid. It's not like I had forgotten about it, in fact I walk by it almost every day. It's this place just around the corner from my house.
It's supposed to be a bend in a road and a small parking space for this God forgotten city water maintenance building or something. The road has never been used a lot.
Years ago me and my friends used to play this ball game where you have this big square court divided in four squares. Each player has his own square and the goal of the game is to hit as many points as possible in someone else's square. We used to use chalk to draw our court wherever we wanted to play. Soon enough we started to use the bend on the road all the time 'cause of it's location and the fact that it was safe with no cars and not that many people would pass by. Time passed and we started to grow tired of having to draw our court after every rain that came and washed it away. We decided to make it permanent. We went home and everyone got what they could. Some paint, brushes, ruler or anything else we thought we might need. Couple of hours later we had our court. If before we used to switch our little squares than now each of us had our own - marked with our nicknames for everyone to see. No more chalk or worries that it will get washed away.
Needless to say from that day one we spent our every waking hour there. Kicking ball around, laughing, growing up.
It was our spot, our playground.
What about now?!
Our court has faded over the years. Although if I close my eyes I can still see those wavy green lines that marked the edges of our court.
It has become the junkie central for the neighborhood. For all the same reasons it was our choice to begin with. No cars, no people - it's safe.
Not anymore...
I am glad to say that none of my friends hang out there, but it is really sad to see that a place that was such a big part of all of our lives has turned in to this dark and sad thing.
I does make me wonder - how did that happen? How did the playground turn in to a pile of used needles and empty bottles? How many other meaningful places have disappeared over the years? And the most important question of them all...
The time when I feel more like a kid than usual and at the same time I’m very well aware of the fact that my birthday is coming up, yet again…
The kid part – it’s not like I can’t wait for the gifts or the party, or delicious birthday cake. It’s not about that at all. It’s more like a voice of a kid inside yelling of the top of its lungs to finally find that long lost manual for the time machine. Just to return back and do all the things I enjoyed as a kid once again and maybe get a chance to do something I didn’t get to do, but still think it would be cool, but those damn bastards won’t let me dive in plastic ball pool or jump around in the bouncy castle, or sit in one of those toy car shopping trolleys, ‘cause apparently I’m too big. How can they not understand that we didn’t have those when I was a kid!? C’mon is it really that hard to build them bigger?
Now more so than usual I catch myself asking the same questions over and over again.
Why do we have to grow up?
Why the growing up is scheduled? You go from infant to toddler, child, teen, young adult, adult and so on. What if I don’t want to follow this pattern? I just want to grow up on my own terms.
What if I want to go from teen to elder and then back to child again?
I’m still trying to find the one who thought he is a smartass and labeled us all.
Why is it called growing up I wonder? I mean I haven’t done any physical growing since I was around 15 and as far as I know people tend to get shorter when they grow older.
The song “wake me up when September ends” sneaks in my head from time to time, ‘cause once September is over those questions fade away as if nothing has happened.
This year has been far from what I intended it to be.
I don’t bother with birthday wishes anymore. I mean what’s the point, they never come true anyways. And when they do, it’s been so long since the wish was made, that it doesn’t matter much anymore, because my life has turned and twisted so unpredictably that even I can’t keep up.
So just to see what happens next – this year I’m not making any plans or guesses, or wishes and hopes. This time it’s me and life one-on-one.
