"Firsts" and "Lasts"

Have You ever  thought  about „firsts” of your life? In this world of never-ending firsts at this very moment someone is taking his or her first breath. Someone is saying their first word, taking first step, smiling for the first time, crying, falling in love, having their heart broken. Someone is enjoying spring for the first time, hearing their first song, starting their first day of work. Someone is saying: „I love You”, for the first time and someone is hearing it for the first time as well. Someone is having their first cigarette, first drink, first drug. For the first time someone is feeling week, disappointed, lost, misunderstood. Someone is meeting their first real friend, but have no idea that it is happening. Someone is leaving home for the first time and someone for the first time in their life finally feels like they have come home.

How many „firsts” have You experienced and only realized it after the moment was gone?

How many times have You said: „ This is happening for the first time in my life”?

How many „firsts” ar still in Your future?

Whilst the world is busy having numerous „firsts” I am starting my week of „lasts”.

My last week in Geneva.  Last time picking up James  from school, last walk through the streets of the old town, last sunset by the lake, last basketball game, last „white night”, last sarcastic joke marathon, last hug from a friend.

Those are just few of the „lasts” I have to face before I can move on and have a whole new set of „firsts” in my life.

No matter how we choose to live our life, „firsts” and „lasts” are gonna be there every step of the way.  So I say embrace it and don’t let it scare You. Life is fleeting and I for one want to experience as many „firsts” and „lasts” as I can. After all thats what life is all about, isn’t it?

Afternoon by the lake will do that to You!

If I were you and You were me.

As the wind and light collide

I push my frustrations aside.

I just want to correct my mistakes,

Doesn’t matter how long it takes.

If You were me - You’d know.

If I were You - I’d start from below.

As the waves crash against the shore

I mend my broaken and shattered soul.

Silence has been here for far to long.

I can’t hear the moonlights song anymore.

If You were me – You’d know.

If I were You – I’d let go.

As the clouds start to fade away

I order my heart to disobey.

It’s not to late to start over again,

Who cares if it makes me look insane.

If You were me – You’d know.

If I were You – I’d take it slow.

Why have I been M.I.A.*

Last few weeks have been hectic, tiring, somewhat annoying, interesting and everything in between. So what have I been up to? Mostly burning my face playing basketball, exploring hidden treasures of Geneva, working and going crazy looking for a new job. Did I mention working? But thats not all. There is one thing thats been on my mind all this time wherever I go. This frustrating feeling of not knowing what exactly is going on, what's gonna happen in my near future, where will I be in a weeks time. In theory I'm going to Paris for a few days to clear my head, then I come back to Geneva just to pack my stuff and be on my way to UK, spend a week there, go on some job interviews and fly home. But what happens after? Do I go back to UK, do I get a job there or am I stuck in Latvia. Do I look for a job there? 

This circle of thought never stops turning in the back of my mind. 

Worst feeling there is - to be lost knowing exactly where you are. 

Enough with the heavy. It's lovely sunday afternoon, sun is shining, birds singing, people laughing.

Find Your song of the day and get out there. If You are having trouble finding your song, I offer You mine :) 

* M.I.A. - missing in action.