The time when I feel more like a kid than usual and at the same time I’m very well aware of the fact that my birthday is coming up, yet again…
The kid part – it’s not like I can’t wait for the gifts or the party, or delicious birthday cake. It’s not about that at all. It’s more like a voice of a kid inside yelling of the top of its lungs to finally find that long lost manual for the time machine. Just to return back and do all the things I enjoyed as a kid once again and maybe get a chance to do something I didn’t get to do, but still think it would be cool, but those damn bastards won’t let me dive in plastic ball pool or jump around in the bouncy castle, or sit in one of those toy car shopping trolleys, ‘cause apparently I’m too big. How can they not understand that we didn’t have those when I was a kid!? C’mon is it really that hard to build them bigger?
Now more so than usual I catch myself asking the same questions over and over again.
Why do we have to grow up?
Why the growing up is scheduled? You go from infant to toddler, child, teen, young adult, adult and so on. What if I don’t want to follow this pattern? I just want to grow up on my own terms.
What if I want to go from teen to elder and then back to child again?
I’m still trying to find the one who thought he is a smartass and labeled us all.
Why is it called growing up I wonder? I mean I haven’t done any physical growing since I was around 15 and as far as I know people tend to get shorter when they grow older.
The song “wake me up when September ends” sneaks in my head from time to time, ‘cause once September is over those questions fade away as if nothing has happened.
This year has been far from what I intended it to be.
I don’t bother with birthday wishes anymore. I mean what’s the point, they never come true anyways. And when they do, it’s been so long since the wish was made, that it doesn’t matter much anymore, because my life has turned and twisted so unpredictably that even I can’t keep up.
So just to see what happens next – this year I’m not making any plans or guesses, or wishes and hopes. This time it’s me and life one-on-one.
Bring it on 22…
